After that moment, I knew you had me under Your strict control. You see, I knew it was too late, and I was okay with that. I didn’t think it would be anything other than that, but I guess I fooled myself into thinking I could resist, leave, or at least take a break from Your control. I was wrong. i’m sorry I was so irritated at the suggestion You made. You do know what’s best for me, but i’ve been so attached to my stupid cock for so long that i use it to do things i shouldn’t. One of those things is thinking. i’m sure you’ll laugh when You read that, but it is the truth. i have been with so many women. i’ve hit bars and clubs, i even think i was addicted to sex for a long time. You changed me. i don’t know what to think about that. Now, my thoughts are filled with Your smile and laugh, and i think about sex, but not in normal ways. It’s crazy to think about the things you make me do, how You use my weak brain and Your wicked mind to convince me to do things. What’s so weird is that i don’t always see it coming. You are kind of conniving in that way, but that is a compliment so please don’t get mad. i just mean that you have a way of sneaking into a guy’s mind and using Your words and power to make me do or think things that i never did before. i guess that’s why i feel the way i feel. You have twisted me around myself. i have been humiliated by a beautiful goddess and i have liked it. i have blushed my way through things like a girl, but not like a girl really. Even girls are stronger than i am. When it comes to you, i am weak, my flesh and mind are weak. i can never have you, but to talk to you or read your words is like being showered with tiny specks of rain. It stings but it’s refreshing. i am learning to control my thoughts and urges, to center them around You. This is something You have taught me but also something i want to do. i have no control over being a man. You are superior in every way. my manliness automatically negates any power i have when i am in Your presence. i can’t use my charm or good looks to woo You into being with me. i can amuse You, do things to make You happy, follow orders like an ant and try to let go of my ego. my IQ drops when i hear Your voice and all i can use my brain for is to do what you tell me. i have become powerless. You took it from me. i don’t want it back, but i am confused about some things. You said some things that spun my head and made me see who i really am. my life was a big lie. i see the truth, as much as i can at this stage, but i know the truth will keep revealing itself. Thank You for all You have done for me. Please accept my apologies for questioning You. i wonder if you will read all this, even.

Yeah, I read ALL of it. It actually rambles on for many more paragraphs. Some of it I can’t/won’t print here

i went today and bought [deleted by Ms. Nicole] at [deleted by Ms. Nicole]. A pretty girl waited on me, and instead of thinking about what color her panties were or having a flash of fucking her on my couch, i looked down at my shoes and thought about them and that if they were cheaper i could spend the money on You. my cock deflated immediately but my spirits soared. Thank You for that. Still i am afraid of the task you gave me, only because it makes me feel humiliated. i crave it now, but i am also nervous. i want to do it but i don’t know where to start. i will start with the instructions You gave me. That seems the best. [more rambling that I won’t print–Ms. Nicole]